Monologue of Lizzie Borden⚒

http://youtu.be/TV7CW7_Xq_c

Last blog!!!!!!!!!!

This acting class gave me an amazing opportunity for lots of things. I had my ups and downs but experience is the thing that actually matters. I can doubtedly count all the things I learned for the past four months. I've never done acting before accept for the first roles in kindergarten but I don't think that counts. It's officially the first time when I knew what I was doing and it had a meaning and a purpose. I've gone a long way since I started this academic year. Being scared pretty much all the time I pushed myself and extended my limits as far as I was capable to. Also I met new talented people who were incredibly helpful and supportive by giving their feedbacks after every performance which gave me new perspective and improved my scenes, movies, monologues, dialogues, plays. All of that helped me to overcome, help and find myself during the process of acting. 

I remember myself in first few weeks I came to Cheshire. Everything was so new, different and scary. New environment made a huge impact. I felt a little lost and uncomfortable but it wasn't unexpected. No. I was preparing myself for this change for years. I knew what I was doing. I signed up for this myself no matter how many times people told me that I can't do it. They said that I didn't understand, that it's better to stay home and be safe. It's easier - yes, but not better. I knew that I would never forgive myself for staying, for hiding behind my parents, home, everything that was safe. And then I left. And I haven't regretted it for a second even when I was terrified to death. I just simply knew that I couldn't give up now, that I have to fight for what I believe in. And I still do. Every. Single. Day. 

Acting was always something I was afraid of. It was my dream for so long it stopped being something real to me. It was easier not to do anything because then I could never fail. The thin is that I always had a feeling that I could be good at performing. I loved it when I was honored to play main roles in elementary school and I also spent seven years in a musical school playing in all the concerts in the city and participating in annual contests which I was good at partly because I looked natural on a stage smiling and using the body language even at the most difficult parts of plays. But it wasn't acting and was easier that way. However, when I came to Cheshire I finally had a chance to perform. I'm not the one to evaluate myself but I think I was pretty good. I performed showing everything I've got every time. Sometimes I transformed into the role that well I couldn't even get out of it. Like the monologue about Peter Pan 911 service. It was the weirdest feeling. At first, I couldn't remember how I was playing at all because it wasn't me at that moment but my character. And later I didn't feel lie myself for some time. It was very strange but I loved it. I don't know why but I felt like it was something I was meant to be doing. I don't think I'm capable of forgetting that feeling. 

I believe this acting course was something I needed for a long time. I did things that I felt good about especially when it was scary as hell. Few months ago I would run away of only a thought of posting something that I wrote on a blog or writing 500 words in only one day. I would have never imagined that I would be performing a shallow girl, an old lady playing bingo, a drunk, a traumatized women, a crazy person. I would like to thank for this opportunity my awesome classmates and of course my teacher, Ms. Guarino, who made this all happen and was there every step of the way! I don't know what is going to be next for me in acting but I have a feeling that it's only the beginning and how turned out my intuition doesn't tend to be mistaken. 

Mental problems + axe = Lizzie Borden

This week I'm preparing for my final acting assessment. It definitely puts some pressure because everything should go perfect. However, I'm also super excited because this time I will be performing a monologue by Lizzie Borden. She was a women who lived in the 19th century. The best part is that she killed her father and step mother with the axe at the same day. She obviously had some mental issues, many mental issues I would say, and that factor attracts me the most. I always find normal people to be boring. They are too predictable and too simple. Weird and crazy people, on the contrary, are so much more deeper and difficult. Lizzie Borden was one of those extraordinary people, and to play her I have to discover what had happened in her little pretty head so that she murdered her family in cold blood. 

When I need to play a person, I prefer to do the research and dig deeper in order to know what he/she looks like. It's important for me to understand the character in and out. A very difficult thing for me in this case is a huge time gap between me and Lizzie Borden. People from her time period always seem unreal to me. The way of dressing up, talking, even moving makes it harder to perform naturally. I tried putting up an old-fashioned skirt and walking with an extremely straight back. I think it helped me to personalize the character and feel the atmosphere of the 19th century. 

I don't feel very comfortable with blocking the monologue. Monologue is the form of acting when not a lot of movements are made. That means that all the moves can't be thoughtless. Every single step should be purposeful and logical. I'm used to moving instinctively but my instincts don't always serve me well. And, therefore, I can't risk it in my monologue which happened to be my final assessment. I read the monologue over and over in order to establish steps and movements. Plus my class is being awesomely supportive and helpful as usual and gives tones of useful advises. So, hopefully, I'll be fine on a stage. 

All of my small hardships, of course, can't be compared with the point that I will actually be playing a murderer. A psycho, mentally unstable cold-hearted killer. She murdered people. I never did. So, basically, it's easier to reach the moon than to understand Lizzie and her decisions. But that's the point of acting, right? To make yourself believe who you are even if it's not who you really are. Just for several minutes imagine that you are capable of taking somebody's life. It's a very scary and challenging task but it's worth it. If I can do this, if I can make the audience believe me, if they shudder with horror, I will develop and stretch myself as an actor. For now I'm the one who is terrified. It's everything or nothing. Huge success or tremendous failure. I will have to use all of my acting capabilities for the full. Do everything I can. And just breath. 

Reflection on a monologue

Lizzie Borden - an American women who killed her father and stepmother with an axe. She had some mental issues. It was never proven that she was a killer but all the evidence show that it was her. I will be reading a monologue when Lizzie was about to kill her stepmother. I will be standing in the middle of the stage and will perform everything using only my body and facial language. I decided to do this monologue because I think it's a very interesting and challenging character who obviously has a mental disease. For my costume I will use the dress from the 19th century. For blocking I will be making some steps around the stage but mostly I will be staying still. Personally, I think it can be a great performance if I am able to get to know the character enough to become her. It will be a challenge for me because our views are very different and I'm not mentally ill as she was. 

Improvise!😱☺️🙄🤔

For me improvisation has always been the most fascinating thing in the world of acting. I love how actors can put themselves out on a stage and start interacting with other actors from a spot without any preparation. It's amazing how some people don't need a piece of paper to give a speech in front of the auditory. It looks so much more naturally than a person starring at his/her note for the whole speech. But at the same time I have been avoiding it for a very big part of my life. If you ask me I'll tell you why: because any kind of improv makes me uncomfortable. I don't like talking about it because it's my weakness and nobody wants to talk about his/her weaknesses. When I'm put into conditions where I have to act without knowing what my next line will be I start panicking. It, of course, depends on who surround me at that moment. I'm a person with a low self-esteem and always have a feeling that everything I say is stupid and nobody would be interested in what I have to say. I'm not proud of that. Not at all. I'd love for this feeling to go away but it's not as simple as it seems. I've been working on this for a long time and I still do every single day. There are good days when I step up and improve a lot. But there are bad days when I feel like I'm failing no matter what I do, and it's not even worth it. The point, in my opinion, is to keep going, keep struggling, keep overcoming yourself until you get what you want. 

This week I had an opportunity to try myself in improvisation. It was hard, as usual. The hardest part is always to start when your body is practically forces you to run away with all possible ways. The best thing to do is just relax and breath. That's what I did. Just breath. I was glad with people around me at that moment. I was already used to acting in front of them. And they weren't people who would judge me. I wouldn't do it if I were in other environment. At some point it stops being so excruciatingly scary and became just a game which proved that all of that was  just in my head. 

If you look at improv without being terrified  to death, it's a very interesting process. It's also very useful not only in acting sphere but in life in general. The ability to improvise develops mind and fasten reactions. Such skills help to reach  any goal, overcome any difficulty, quickly find the right solution in extreme situation. Communication with people is another advantage of improvisation. Knowing how to improvise makes you understand the  behavior of certain people and how to reflect on anything they can say. To conclude, improvisation skills are valuable no matter what angle you're looking at. I hope to learn how to improv and use all the perks of it. 

Improv troupe

http://youtu.be/NoAGNbfiez8

Reflection on Peter Pan

This Friday I was lucky to watch the premier of the original performance of Peter Pan. It lasted longer than two hours I'm sure took a tremendous amount of work from the whole crew. To be honest, I don't have a lot to compare it with anything else because I've never seen any shows made in high school. However, from my perspective the show was a great success! I can infinitely praise the work of actors because all of them were awesome. I was surprised how a girl can play a boy so naturally you wouldn't ever think somebody else could have been on her place. Erin played Peter Pan as a real boy who passionately refuses to grow up. I notice a lot that most of the actors in movies tend to have the same facial expressions in all their roles. Well, it wasn't the case with Charlotte who was so different in both of her roles: the mother of Wendy and the Captain Hook. I guess that the most difficult part was to put all the pieces like lightning, sound, technical things and scenes together in the play but the directors and managers did an awesome job in only three months! However, some lightning problems could be seen by the audience. It was their first performance and it could be understandable. As far as the parts of changing the scenes, they were a bit odd. The crew was moving too fast and they seemed like they didn't know where they were supposed to go. Maybe if they were moving slower 

I know I probably should be more critical of the play and say things that can be improved but I truly believe in what I said. It was a fantastic experience and I enjoyed every moment of it. 

About bad parenting...

With every new scene, or dialog, or movie I feel that I fall deeper and deeper in love with acting. In theater you can be whoever you want, do whatever you want, put on different roles that would never experience by working in office. It provides opportunities you would never think were possible. I think that by performing other people with their own issues on a stage you learn a lot about yourself. Maybe even start understand yourself better. The only hardship you face is that you can go that deep in acting so you would never get back from the role. It's difficult not to lose yourself in all those different characters because playing each of them you give a piece of yourself and forget which piece actually belongs to you. 

This past few weeks we've been working on a dramatic scene of a dad and a daughter. The scene takes place in the prison. The dad killed his own wife and took away his daughter’s mother. Now he faces the death penalty and decides to “take something of his chest” before his death. Turns out that the girl’s mom wasn't as innocent as she thought. The dad tells his daughter that her mother was evil and tried to kill her when she was a baby and that's why he had no choice but to kill his wife himself. The plot is very debatable, in my opinion. On the one side, why would he tell it now? It is very selfish of him. The girl could've at least cherished good memories of her mother but now she has to live as an orphan knowing that both of her parents were criminals. On the other side, it's in human nature to be egoistic. Plus the guy is about to say goodbye to his life and needs to find a way to forgive himself. 

I was playing the daughter in the scene. It was exactly the role I always desired to play. The daughter’s pain, fear, anger were so unbearable, so I had to do my best to get into the role. I had to relive everything that she was feeling: her struggle, her emotions, paralytic fear like my own. I had to be her and that's the most incredible part of the whole thing. Trying to be the daughter in such tragedy, I had to lose myself at least for those few minutes. We haven't perform our final draft but I hope I will be able to transform into my character so that nobody would doubt the story. My partner in the scene does well performing the role. I think he could have be more emotional but we still work great as a team. 

As far as other teams, I think they are doing just great. The girls’ scene is very dramatic and emotional. It's not a usual form of performance but it looks natural and harmonious. Movements are important in the scene because there are not a lot of them. I like that each girl has her place where she starts and they form a weird form of triangle. It honestly makes me shiver. In boys’ scene a lot has been changed to the better. The scene has a huge amount of tension which is very scary. I think guys worked hard on their scene and achieved a lot. I enjoyed the scene every single time they performed it. 

Character development

My character’s name is Rachel. She's a young 23-year-old woman who lost her mother not so long ago. Her father Peter is the one who killed her mom. She thought she grew up in a normal stable family and one day her world was turned upside down when she lost her mother and her dad turned out to be a killer. She was devastated for a long time and she started studying hard to kill the pain she was feeling. Few years past and her father is being executed. She didn't want to come but decided that she would regret not seeing him for the last time. I will try to express all the pain and anger the character feels by facial expressions, hands and body movements. I think I can perform this role and reflect her emotions on myself. 

The link for our new scene:

http://hollywoodactingworkshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Last_Wish_-_1_man_1_woman.pdf

About drunk drivers, dangerous cliffs and dead bodies... (Happy Halloween, by the way🎃)

This past few weeks I had an experience with dramatic/comedic scene. Now I can't say that's it something totally new for me because I'd done scenes before this year but I feel like I'm getting more and more familiar with this kinds of acting. I know what I'm supposed to do, what is expected from me, how to work on a character and what my weakest and strongest sides are. I also would like to say how glad I was to be working with Alexis and John. We are a great team! Other groups did a pretty good job working on their scenes. 

First of all, our scene was really crazy! Three drunk friends returning from the party at night, running over a poor man and attempting to cover up committed crime in a VERY messed up way isn't the picture one sees every day. But the challenge was taken and turned into success) There were two most difficult parts of a scene that we had to face and figure out. First, the characters were on the edge of the cliff with a car trapped by the bunch of branches and a dead body literally in their hands. Not simple props to create if you're not participating in Broadway show. We had to find something that would look convincing and self-explaining. So our car was three chairs put together as car sits and a table served us the role of the cliff. Our props were pretty simple, as you can see, but because of that we had to perform better in order to clarify the roles and the situation our characters were into. I think we managed to do that. Second, it was hard to decide whether our scene was comedic or more of a dramatic play. At this point the script we chose was confusing us, in my opinion. All characters were funny and ridiculous in some places and made difficult and crucial decisions in other places. Eventually, we came to conclusion that this play was better as a comedian one and we did everything possible to make it look like it is. 

For other groups, I have to admit that the scene with two self-esteemed women fighting over a pack of Pringles takes the cake. I think Abby and Dyana did an amazing job. They were SO hilarious I couldn't stop laughing even after I'd watched them perform ten times. Abby’s accent and Dyana’s rolling eyes made my day! They fit into their roles pretty well and that's what I want to say thanks for. Jack’s and Dunkin’s scene about the moon pie didn't impress me that much, to be honest. I know that it was supposed to be funny but I'm not a big fan a throwing things around and falling from a chair. No offense guys, though. They still spend a lot of time working on it and I can imagine it wasn't easy. 

At the end, I'd like to say that I'm happy we did all the scenes. I feel better and better every new time we do scenes or dialogues or silent movies, etc. There is such a huge amount of characters, and I enjoy being someone else every time, trying on all those new roles and fitting better in some of them and working more on getting into others. Thank you, Ms. Guarino, for being with us through all performances and giving helpful feedbacks on every step of the way!

Acquaintance with Newsies

Coming for "Newsies" was a big deal for me though I hadn't expected it to be. I realized I hadn't been in fabulous places where people had to dress up for a long time but I think it was a nice change for me. The Bushnell didn't seem very impressive outside but auditorium with tremendously high ceilings and magnificent chandelier on top of it looked stunning. I had already forgotten how much I loved places with lots of space and how they make me feel! However, such huge auditorium prevented us from being able to see the details of the performance. The stage was too far away from the balcony where we happened to be sitting. Even with my perfect 20/20 vision I couldn't see the faces of the actors. I didn't have difficulties with distinguishing them from one another when they were singing though. I enjoyed every single performance and every single song they sang. It was incredible how they moved so simultaneously, especially when there were more than ten actors in one group. I could see that they put a huge amount of work and effort in making this musicle, and I'm that kind of viewer who appreciate that. As far as decorations, it always surprised me how great and appropriate the props were counting that there were limited abilities and options for a theater to show the audience where the act takes place. Newsies didn't become an exception either. The props were pretty simple but they moved them adapting to the scenes marvelously well. The plot, on the other hand, was the weakest part, in my opinion. It was too obvious from the very beginning and most of the characters weren't well developed. I still can say that I absolutely loved the musical and the energetic atmosphere of actors on the stage. It was a right choice of spending an evening!

                                     

Character study

- about 30 years old

- came from a small family, the only child, parents are divorced, loves her grandma

- a certified nurse, graduated from college few years ago

- had a really bad breakup and currently is single

- shares an apartment with her two friends in New Jersey

- returning from a party, everybody's wasted, Cedric is driving, swerve and kills a hitchhiker

- don't want to go to jail and decide to get rid of the body hoping that nobody will never find out 

- as an actor I want to try to show a dramatic character. I think my character is terrified and in shock and doesn't think straight but still tries to keep calm. 

Link for our new scene:

http://hollywoodactingworkshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Over_the_Edge_-_3_women.pdf

The Pioneer Experience

It hasn't been a long time since the school started but a lot has been going on. The atmosphere here is so different from everything I'm used to so I think I've already changed a little bit. I wouldn't say that my goals changed that much from where I began. I don't think I have completed the process of adaptation yet. Every aspect of my life has changed so I feel like a pioneer stepping on an unknown land. Being away from my parents is a big part of it. They've been with me each step of the way and now they are just gone and nothing can fulfill that emptyness in my heart. Moreover, I've never been surrounded by so many people all the time. I'm more of a "myself" person and I used to spend most of the time all by myself. Here it's impossible to get any time alone which makes me freak out most of the time. And, of course, school is the most difficult part. I'm being challenged every single day on way too many levels which sometimes makes me lose faith in myself. But I know that's temporary and eventually I'll figure it out. 

As far as my acting class is concerned, I've never expected it to be so eventful. I used to take drama classes back in Russia but for some weird reason all we did was doing exercises. I think they were supposed to make us more relaxed and loose but, looking back at it now, I was as tight as ever. I didn't feel comfortable among those people, so I couldn't possibly loose myself. The opposite is happening here. I feel free to talk and express myself, I'm not afraid somebody would make fun of me because even if they do its never in a mean way. I love that we constantely do some kind of projects. They are never the same which makes them even more interesting. I'd like to continue making scenes, movies, etc. because I finally feel that I'm good at something and that feeling is what makes me going.

The most challenging thing in acting class for me turned out to be writing. I just never expected that the biggest amount of writing would be in acting class. First, I'm not a fast typer which makes me reset not using social networks as much as other kids do. Second, I can't think that fast. It's embarrassing to acknowledge but I'm slower than other people in some things. I need time to think alone, without any pressure. Third, I don't like what I write. I think my writings are too simple, non-developed and is hard to read. So it would be logical to say that I want to do less writing in the next half of a class but I won't say it. I would gain so much more if I continue doing. I don't see much of a progress now but at least I'm not petrified when I see the task with 500 words anymore. That's something, right?

As you can see, not much has changed since I came here but, as I said, I'm slow on things. However, it doesn't mean I'm worse than everybody else. I know I'll see the improvements, I just need to be patient and have more faith in my powers. I need to push harder every day, never give up and stay strong. They say: "what doesn't kill that makes us stronger". Pretty sure it won't kill me so I'm preparing to be so much stronger)

"Back In My Days..." movie link

http://youtu.be/qJYfdbPu9zI

In Class Writing

In my opinion, both groups did an amazing job, considering that most of the participants have never filmed in silent movies or just any kind of movies. 

When I first watched the silent movie of another group I couldn't believe they were able to make something so amazing and funny in such a short period of time. I loved the plot that was the mix of a crime and a comedy. The music reflected their performance and helped to understand the mood and what was happening on the stage.

In our group everybody put a great amount of effort in this movie. We listened each other and collaborated in every aspect which is very important in a team work. Not everything was perfect though. It took us sometime to figure out what should we do with our bodies as we knew that words couldn't support and express our feelings. Step by step it became more clear what to do on a stage. I think the silent movie let us feel and understand body language much more than we've ever done before. It was an incredible opportunity to get a closer look in a world of cinematography and we all learned a lot from this experience. 

The Silent Movie Experience

Making a silent movies is much more complicated than you could have ever imagined. The main tool for expressing yourself is speaking which you can't use in a silent movie. That's a big problem. You have to think of other ways to explain yourself like body language, facial expressions, sound effects, mouthing the words. If you think that's all you need to do, then you are mistaken. The hardest part is to carefully balance all the parts of expressions so that the audience wouldn't consider the piece to be vulgar or trivial. All of that make a silent movie a challenging job but it also might become an unforgettable experience. 

The thing about our silent movie I love the most is that we had so much fun. The plot of "Back In My Days" is adorably hilarious. It's hard to remember how we came up with the idea. I think it was the mix all plots together but the final thing belongs to Abby who is extremely talented and even a bit crazy in a very positive way. In my opinion, the plot is quite simple but original and, I would say, natural. There are no scenes that might seem overloaded even though the movie is less than 5 minutes. 

I never could have imagined that preparation for a movie can be so interesting and engoyable. I loved working with my teammates, it wouldn't be the same without them. Only the trip to the Health Center for a wheel chair was worth every second. Watching Abby's frightened face when Dayna was trying not to lose control over the wheel chair and Abby in it was the most ridiculous thing I'd seen for a long time. I also love Alexis for being in her character even when we weren't filming. It helped me to stay concentrated on being an old lady. 

As far as the movie, we did a great job individually and as a team. Everybody was eager to collaborate and instantly came up with new ideas all the time while filming. I realize that it wasn't an advanced movie, and we aren't specialists but we did a pretty good job with filming each scene and the whole thing. Duncan, who was recording our movie, wasn't only a great listener but also gave us some pieces of advice from his perspective that were so useful. 

After watching the final edited version of our movie I must say i wasn't that bad myself. In my outfit with wig and glasses I looked convincing as an old women. I find my facial expressions helpful as well. However, I didn't feel that confident on stage. I think this might be the struggle that I face every time I'm acting and something I should work on. We filmed a comedian movie so the characters weren't that developed which made it harder to commit to them. Even with some obstacles, I believe, I was able to play my part originally. I learned a lot from that experience and I'd like to participate in filming a silent movie. 

Script for silent movie

Beginning

elderly home

Middle

Smb claims to have bingo

Fights breaks out for the bingo

Alexis accidentally hits Abby's face with a cane

Abby's dentures fall out 

Ending

Trying to pick them up

Movements

Alexis and Lisa are sitting making puzzles 

Dayna is rolling Abby in and then she says: "Bingo time"

Everyone sits down and play bingo says" B 52"

Lisa and Alexis claim they have a bingo( stand up at same time. cards that says "bingo bingo!!!")

The fight starts:

Alexis bites her thumb at Lisa meanwhile, Abby is sitting with Dayna behind fight (

lisa throws bingo card at Shannok

Shanok SLOWLY moves Cane to hit Lisa

Lisa ducks

Cane hits Abby in face (close up shot)

Dentures fall out of Abby's mouth close up shot to where they fall on ground 

Alexis and Lisa very slowly me in pain bend down to get dentures. 

Eventually Dayna bends down

Zoom in to her hand only picking up dentures

Hands to Abby

Dayna sits in Abby's lap and they  wheels off, while the other two are left in pain

Heart that closes off scene

                                 

"Rescued by Rover" http://youtu.be/LlhNxHfyWTU

I have to say: I'm not a huge fan of silent movies but I'm willing to give it a try. Watching "Rescued by Rover" was interesting and different from everything I usually watch. It's not like I've never seen a silent movie before but it was the first time when I was paying attention. First thing I noticed was that body language and facial expressions are much more shown than in voice movies. The movie is very short but lots of actions happen during seemingly short 6 minutes. A homeless woman kidnapping a child, sufferings of parents, Rover finding child, leading a father of a child to the homeless woman's place and finally a rescue of a child. All of the scenes looked natural to me. The only thing I found a bit irritating was that a mother of a child was overacting sometimes. When she was trying to show how devastated she was about her child's disappearance, I felt that she was making too many movements. I understand how hard it is to perform in a silent movie and how important to balance emotional expressions though. One thing I learned watching silent movie was that its not always necessary to speak in order to make audience understand what the performance is about. 

Neverland 911 Monologue

https://youtu.be/s4OTBeeP5yI

How I did on my comedian monologue...

I did incredibly well... No I'm kidding. I loved the context of my monologue though. It's true. It's funny, it's hilarious and cruelly adorable. It has this spice inside that makes you burst out laughing. The interesting thing is that if you imagine such situation in real life it would probably make you cry. How can a girl be so heartless and literally paint her nails while listening how person on the other side of a phone call is being eaten by "a tick-tocking crocodile"? There is a piece of truth in every joke so maybe we should think of the real meaning of this monologue. Is it just a funny shallow story about Neverland or it is something more deeper?

I didn't do that well performing my monologue. I don't think I felt the character the way I usually do. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't perfect. I'm more of a deeper character person and it's hard for me to play a girl who didn't care about anybody but herself... and Thumbelina)))) I think this character was supposed to be more about facial expressions, grimaces. The girl felt constantly bored, increasing annoyance, and she didn't hesitate to show those feelings to everybody else. That's what I should have focused more on. And a contrast at the end of the monologue when instead of a foolish people who need help all the time(why can't they deal with their problems by themselves?))) Thumbelina called, was very emotional and sharp. I think I was able to express this sharpness and it was one of a few things I'm proud of. 

The other reason why it wasn't my best performance is that the monologue was comedian. Comedian roles are always harder for me. I know that's weird because usually people think funny roles are easier than serious ones that are much more complicated. Not for me! To tell you the truth I'm afraid of such roles. Comedy should be funny but I always wonder what if nobody would laugh? What then? I would definitely flush and shamefully run away from the stage. I become so nervous and obsessed imagining how it would happen, so I can't concentrate on acting itself. That's what I still have to overcome: the fear of not being funny. 

The last thing that made my monologue difficult for me is pronounciation. My monologue is full of small but hard words which provide a new load of problems. I never liked Russian accent and I worked hard to get rid of it. And when I did that my accent wasn't completely gone. It just wasn't Russian anymore. Sometimes I become upset when somebody asks me where I am from. I just wish that one day someone wouldn't notice my accent. That's why it's so hard for me sometimes to pronounce some words. But the more I work on it the better I become. 

In conclusion I'd like to say that I don't regret choosing this monologue. A bad experience is still an experience. I like to challenge myself sometimes like that, push myself out of comfort zone. If I didn't take the comedian monologue I wouldn't know what I have to work on. Knowing my weakest places I can improve myself in the world of acting. 

Monologue character

My character's name is Jules. She's just graduated from college, majored in management. She isn't happy about her job in Neverland 911 service but she's too lazy to get another one. Besides, it's summertime, great weather, but she has to sit in a stupid office of Neverland and help people she doesn't know and doesn't care about. So she puts everybody on hold and decides to talk with her bff)

Jules is sitting in an office chair with headphones on in the middle of the stage. Her pose is relaxed. She's got a pen in her right hand but she doesn't use it for writing. Might be chewing a gum. 

Comedian monologue

OPERATOR:

Neverland 911, what's the emergency? You are being

kidnapped by pirates? Can you be more specific?

Which pirate is kidnapping you? Well, if he's limping

on a peg-leg then it's probably Long John Silver,

but if he has a hook then it's probably Captain-oh-

He's got a hook and a pegleg?

Oh dear. Please hold.

Neverland 911, what's the emergency? Being harassed

by mermaids? How dreadful. Please hold. Neverland

911, how can I help you? Trapped in Skull Cave?

The tide is coming in? Oh my! Please hold. Neverland

911, what's your problem? Your rowboat's falling apart?

And you're being attacked by a tick-tocking crocodile?

Oh you poor dear! Please hold. Neverland 911-Hey

Thumbelina! How you doin' girl? He did?! Why, you

need to dump that Tom Thumb. Uh-huh? Uh-huh? No,

I'm not busy. You tell me all about it!

Reflection on my acting

For the past several weeks I learned more about acting than I ever did. To tell you the truth, that's exactly how I expected it to be: incredibly fascinating and absorbing. It takes all your powers and strength but it's so worth it! Acting makes you free and opens new sides of you that you never imagined could be parts of yourself. In my opinion, it very much depends on people who surround you. 

In my country I could never feel free to express myself. It was like Russia restrained me. People told me how stupid I looked, dictated what's right and what's wrong... and I listened. I thought people knew better because they were looking from different perspective. But even when I was in a very dark place something inside me kept repeating that I'm the only one who can dictate myself what to do. And then I appeared to be in Ms. Guarino's class...

Now I feel less restrained every day. Without support and encouragement of my classmates I would never be able to do that. The trick is that I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone and not being pressured at the same time. For that I appreciate Ms. Guarino most of all! Only three weeks ago I couldn't write such a long essay about myself and post it on the blog, let alone posting a video of my monologue! I did a good job though) I improved a lot but, of course, it's just a beginning and I have too much to work on. 

I would like to get rid of constraint that i noticed in my video. Nervousness makes it almost impossible but I believe I can take care of that. Having control over my emotions turned out to be not an easy task. I imagined how my face was supposed to look at certain moment but I couldn't manage my facial expression that well. It's like when a baby already knows a language but each time he tries to say a word something totally different comes out of his mouth because his tongue isn't well developed. I also don't like lots of movements I made with my hands. I admire actors who don't need any decorations or any assistance in order to perform. They show everything with facial expressions and body language. I hope I will move forward in that direction. My classmates' opinions were extremely useful for my performance. By listening to what they had to say I saw the different sides and points of view which gave me perspective and let me more thoroughly express my role. 

My first time ever monologue)

Valuable acting skills

It's hard to say what is important in acting unless you are an actor. The thing I learned after two weeks of acting is that it's not that easy. It takes time, energy, imagination, courage and these are only basic stuff. A good actor is supposed to have a perfect memory. It doesn't mean that, if you are not good at memorizing texts, all the acting doors are shut in front you. Acting is work, hard daily work. Just figure out the the way to remember that works for you because when you do, you'll get to work on your performance: body and facial expressions, emotions, pronounciation, movements, etc. Isn't it exciting? There are so many different ways to show your feelings to the audience! The best part - there is no right or wrong. There is just you trying to express yourself. 

The big part of being an actor is improvisation. Perhaps, without such skill a person can't be counted as a talented actor. It's also a skill that comes in two ways. The lucky ones get it as a gift on their birth but mostly it's just what comes with experience and practice. An actor who can improvise is always in control of action on a stage, always aware of what is going on and is able to adjust to any situation not only while acting but in life. Facing a suden crisis such person thinks really quickly and figures out what to do much faster and easier than the most of people. Personally, I admire all actors who are able to adopt to the scene no matter what happens and I want to gain the skill one day. 

The last skill I think matters in the world of acting is belief. Unfortunately, a chance to succeed in the profession is incredible law nowadays. Too many people don't believe in acting as a profession at all. They say it's not serious and anybody can do it. It's easy to judge something they don't know and, I'm pretty sure, have never tried to do. That's when a good actor should stand up for himself/herself because that voice in one's head that says: "people are mistaken" is not wrong! Faith in what one is pationate about is the most valuable thing in this world, especially in acting. Never let other people dictate who one can and cannot be is very hard but it's not impossible. Believing in oneself power and strength is what makes one going. 

3 things I would like to learn this year are:

- how to improvise

- how to feel comfortable on the stage

- work on overcoming nervousness 

Who am I?(Monologue)

There is a proverb in Russia that says: "Where you were born, there you'll be needed". Maybe this is true for the most of humanity but, apparently, I'm a walking disprove of this theory)))) I'm a 17-year-old, born and raised in the capital of Russia Moscow. I'm from an average family with two loving parents and two children. So the question is: why the hell would I leave my absolutely normal stable life with incredible family and awesome friends and move to another country where I don't know a single soul? I think in order to understand my decision you'd have to try on my shoes...

 Since I was a little girl I loved my country, a lot, but I always felt that it's not a place where I belonged. At first it was just a dream which turned into something bigger, bigger than myself and that's when I made a decision to follow my dream no matter what. Although from the first second I knew my life would be harder than others, I was certain of the path I chose for myself. It doesn't mean that I don't doubt myself sometimes. I'm just a girl chasing her dream.

My first time

As you have probably already understood I've never had a blog before. I apologize in advance for all the mistakes I might make writing it. I'm literally terrified of posting anything in here but I'm still grateful that I have to. My parents taught me to struggle, to overcome fears pushing myself out of comfort zone in order to reach my goal. This is basically why I'm here at Cheshire Academy. Turned out its not that simple to leave your country for another one but it's ok. I can live with that. After all I was the one who craved to leave Russia for the U.S. And I did. Now I have to work even harder to stay here and to get used to this place with all new people, culture and everything around me. But I'm definitely not going to give up!

As far as my character is concerned, I'm a person who likes to read. I love my parents and I'm SO proud to be their daughter. They will never fully know how much I appreciate everything they've done for me. They are the reason I believe in love, true love that lasts forever. They showed me how little wedding paper means cause they never got one. Thank you mom and dad! You will always be the best example for me!

A lot of time I prefer to be on my own thinking about life but I also cannot live without people. Exploring them is one of the best thing I've ever done. Looking on their faces, realizing how different they all are and that there are no black and white in this world. Even the worst person has his own reasons to be one. Therefore, I'd like to become a psychologist one day. 

 I love theater, movies and everything that is connected with acting. I always was. Starting with kindergarten when I was chosen to play main character and up until now I wondered: am I good at acting? I'm hoping to find an answer on this question in class of Ms. Guarino. I'll try my best to do everything in my power to find myself in a world of acting. 

If you read this I hope I haven't bored you to death. There is only only one thing I have left to say: don't be afraid of loosing! Just follow your dream no matter what! ITS WORTH IT!