Last blog!!!!!!!!!!

This acting class gave me an amazing opportunity for lots of things. I had my ups and downs but experience is the thing that actually matters. I can doubtedly count all the things I learned for the past four months. I've never done acting before accept for the first roles in kindergarten but I don't think that counts. It's officially the first time when I knew what I was doing and it had a meaning and a purpose. I've gone a long way since I started this academic year. Being scared pretty much all the time I pushed myself and extended my limits as far as I was capable to. Also I met new talented people who were incredibly helpful and supportive by giving their feedbacks after every performance which gave me new perspective and improved my scenes, movies, monologues, dialogues, plays. All of that helped me to overcome, help and find myself during the process of acting. 

I remember myself in first few weeks I came to Cheshire. Everything was so new, different and scary. New environment made a huge impact. I felt a little lost and uncomfortable but it wasn't unexpected. No. I was preparing myself for this change for years. I knew what I was doing. I signed up for this myself no matter how many times people told me that I can't do it. They said that I didn't understand, that it's better to stay home and be safe. It's easier - yes, but not better. I knew that I would never forgive myself for staying, for hiding behind my parents, home, everything that was safe. And then I left. And I haven't regretted it for a second even when I was terrified to death. I just simply knew that I couldn't give up now, that I have to fight for what I believe in. And I still do. Every. Single. Day. 

Acting was always something I was afraid of. It was my dream for so long it stopped being something real to me. It was easier not to do anything because then I could never fail. The thin is that I always had a feeling that I could be good at performing. I loved it when I was honored to play main roles in elementary school and I also spent seven years in a musical school playing in all the concerts in the city and participating in annual contests which I was good at partly because I looked natural on a stage smiling and using the body language even at the most difficult parts of plays. But it wasn't acting and was easier that way. However, when I came to Cheshire I finally had a chance to perform. I'm not the one to evaluate myself but I think I was pretty good. I performed showing everything I've got every time. Sometimes I transformed into the role that well I couldn't even get out of it. Like the monologue about Peter Pan 911 service. It was the weirdest feeling. At first, I couldn't remember how I was playing at all because it wasn't me at that moment but my character. And later I didn't feel lie myself for some time. It was very strange but I loved it. I don't know why but I felt like it was something I was meant to be doing. I don't think I'm capable of forgetting that feeling. 

I believe this acting course was something I needed for a long time. I did things that I felt good about especially when it was scary as hell. Few months ago I would run away of only a thought of posting something that I wrote on a blog or writing 500 words in only one day. I would have never imagined that I would be performing a shallow girl, an old lady playing bingo, a drunk, a traumatized women, a crazy person. I would like to thank for this opportunity my awesome classmates and of course my teacher, Ms. Guarino, who made this all happen and was there every step of the way! I don't know what is going to be next for me in acting but I have a feeling that it's only the beginning and how turned out my intuition doesn't tend to be mistaken.