I did incredibly well... No I'm kidding. I loved the context of my monologue though. It's true. It's funny, it's hilarious and cruelly adorable. It has this spice inside that makes you burst out laughing. The interesting thing is that if you imagine such situation in real life it would probably make you cry. How can a girl be so heartless and literally paint her nails while listening how person on the other side of a phone call is being eaten by "a tick-tocking crocodile"? There is a piece of truth in every joke so maybe we should think of the real meaning of this monologue. Is it just a funny shallow story about Neverland or it is something more deeper?
I didn't do that well performing my monologue. I don't think I felt the character the way I usually do. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't perfect. I'm more of a deeper character person and it's hard for me to play a girl who didn't care about anybody but herself... and Thumbelina)))) I think this character was supposed to be more about facial expressions, grimaces. The girl felt constantly bored, increasing annoyance, and she didn't hesitate to show those feelings to everybody else. That's what I should have focused more on. And a contrast at the end of the monologue when instead of a foolish people who need help all the time(why can't they deal with their problems by themselves?))) Thumbelina called, was very emotional and sharp. I think I was able to express this sharpness and it was one of a few things I'm proud of.
The other reason why it wasn't my best performance is that the monologue was comedian. Comedian roles are always harder for me. I know that's weird because usually people think funny roles are easier than serious ones that are much more complicated. Not for me! To tell you the truth I'm afraid of such roles. Comedy should be funny but I always wonder what if nobody would laugh? What then? I would definitely flush and shamefully run away from the stage. I become so nervous and obsessed imagining how it would happen, so I can't concentrate on acting itself. That's what I still have to overcome: the fear of not being funny.
The last thing that made my monologue difficult for me is pronounciation. My monologue is full of small but hard words which provide a new load of problems. I never liked Russian accent and I worked hard to get rid of it. And when I did that my accent wasn't completely gone. It just wasn't Russian anymore. Sometimes I become upset when somebody asks me where I am from. I just wish that one day someone wouldn't notice my accent. That's why it's so hard for me sometimes to pronounce some words. But the more I work on it the better I become.
In conclusion I'd like to say that I don't regret choosing this monologue. A bad experience is still an experience. I like to challenge myself sometimes like that, push myself out of comfort zone. If I didn't take the comedian monologue I wouldn't know what I have to work on. Knowing my weakest places I can improve myself in the world of acting.
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