Reflection on my acting

For the past several weeks I learned more about acting than I ever did. To tell you the truth, that's exactly how I expected it to be: incredibly fascinating and absorbing. It takes all your powers and strength but it's so worth it! Acting makes you free and opens new sides of you that you never imagined could be parts of yourself. In my opinion, it very much depends on people who surround you. 

In my country I could never feel free to express myself. It was like Russia restrained me. People told me how stupid I looked, dictated what's right and what's wrong... and I listened. I thought people knew better because they were looking from different perspective. But even when I was in a very dark place something inside me kept repeating that I'm the only one who can dictate myself what to do. And then I appeared to be in Ms. Guarino's class...

Now I feel less restrained every day. Without support and encouragement of my classmates I would never be able to do that. The trick is that I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone and not being pressured at the same time. For that I appreciate Ms. Guarino most of all! Only three weeks ago I couldn't write such a long essay about myself and post it on the blog, let alone posting a video of my monologue! I did a good job though) I improved a lot but, of course, it's just a beginning and I have too much to work on. 

I would like to get rid of constraint that i noticed in my video. Nervousness makes it almost impossible but I believe I can take care of that. Having control over my emotions turned out to be not an easy task. I imagined how my face was supposed to look at certain moment but I couldn't manage my facial expression that well. It's like when a baby already knows a language but each time he tries to say a word something totally different comes out of his mouth because his tongue isn't well developed. I also don't like lots of movements I made with my hands. I admire actors who don't need any decorations or any assistance in order to perform. They show everything with facial expressions and body language. I hope I will move forward in that direction. My classmates' opinions were extremely useful for my performance. By listening to what they had to say I saw the different sides and points of view which gave me perspective and let me more thoroughly express my role.