It hasn't been a long time since the school started but a lot has been going on. The atmosphere here is so different from everything I'm used to so I think I've already changed a little bit. I wouldn't say that my goals changed that much from where I began. I don't think I have completed the process of adaptation yet. Every aspect of my life has changed so I feel like a pioneer stepping on an unknown land. Being away from my parents is a big part of it. They've been with me each step of the way and now they are just gone and nothing can fulfill that emptyness in my heart. Moreover, I've never been surrounded by so many people all the time. I'm more of a "myself" person and I used to spend most of the time all by myself. Here it's impossible to get any time alone which makes me freak out most of the time. And, of course, school is the most difficult part. I'm being challenged every single day on way too many levels which sometimes makes me lose faith in myself. But I know that's temporary and eventually I'll figure it out.
As far as my acting class is concerned, I've never expected it to be so eventful. I used to take drama classes back in Russia but for some weird reason all we did was doing exercises. I think they were supposed to make us more relaxed and loose but, looking back at it now, I was as tight as ever. I didn't feel comfortable among those people, so I couldn't possibly loose myself. The opposite is happening here. I feel free to talk and express myself, I'm not afraid somebody would make fun of me because even if they do its never in a mean way. I love that we constantely do some kind of projects. They are never the same which makes them even more interesting. I'd like to continue making scenes, movies, etc. because I finally feel that I'm good at something and that feeling is what makes me going.
The most challenging thing in acting class for me turned out to be writing. I just never expected that the biggest amount of writing would be in acting class. First, I'm not a fast typer which makes me reset not using social networks as much as other kids do. Second, I can't think that fast. It's embarrassing to acknowledge but I'm slower than other people in some things. I need time to think alone, without any pressure. Third, I don't like what I write. I think my writings are too simple, non-developed and is hard to read. So it would be logical to say that I want to do less writing in the next half of a class but I won't say it. I would gain so much more if I continue doing. I don't see much of a progress now but at least I'm not petrified when I see the task with 500 words anymore. That's something, right?
As you can see, not much has changed since I came here but, as I said, I'm slow on things. However, it doesn't mean I'm worse than everybody else. I know I'll see the improvements, I just need to be patient and have more faith in my powers. I need to push harder every day, never give up and stay strong. They say: "what doesn't kill that makes us stronger". Pretty sure it won't kill me so I'm preparing to be so much stronger)
No comments:
Post a Comment